Ren Dynamite
by ninzor
Summary: The life and times of Ren Dynamite. In a school full of freaking idiots, he manages to launch a campaign for a new school president with Tamao's help, Yoh! Too bad for them, Anna, the most popular girl in school, is also running...


_A/N: Yeah, I know, character relations might be a bit messed up. So might the Napolean Dynamite plot._

A young boy wearing a shirt with horses on it stood at the bus stop. Presently, a yellow bus parked in front of him, and he boarded it.

This boy, Ren, made his way to the back of the bus and sat down. A random kid sitting nearby looked his direction and asked, "Hey, Ren. What are you gonna do today?"

Ren scowled at the kid and snapped, "Whatever I feel like! GOSH!"

He turned away and proceeded to take an action figure out of his backpack. Looking around furtively, he then tied a string to its leg and hurled it out the back window. The toy bounced along the road as Ren watched in satisfaction.

Minutes later, the bus pulled up in front of a school. Ren hopped off the bus and made his way to gym.

In the locker room, several guys asked Ren, "So, Ren. What did you do this summer?"

"Oh," Ren replied casually. "Went wolvernine hunting with my cousins."

"Did you shoot any?"

"DUH! I had like a freaking 12-guage!"

The students looked at eachother in confusion as Ren continued to shout.

"They were mauling my cousins! What would you do in a situation like that? GOSH!"

After a few mutters of "Kisama," Ren stalked away to the front office.

"Can I use the phone?' he asked in a dull voice.

The reception lady nodded and handed Ren the phone. Ren grabbed it and punched in the numbers to his home. Soon, someone on the other line picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Jun. Is Grandpa home?"

"No."

"Then can you bring me some chapstick?"

"Why?"

Ren scowled. His hair grew into a massive point. "BECAUSE MY LIPS HURT REALLY BAD!"

"No, Ren," Jun sighed. "I'm busy now."

"Yeah," Ren retorted. "Busy wasting time in chatrooms."

"Look, Ren. Don't get jealous just because I spend 12 hours a day chatting with studs."

"JUN!" Ren roared. "GET ME SOME FREAKING CHAPSTICK!"

Jun sighed and hung up on Ren. Ren screeched in frustration and threw the phone back at the reception lady.

"Freaking idiot!"

Soon, school was out. Ren arrived home, to see that his Grandpa Zhen had also arrived.

"OK, Jun and Ren. I'm going to be out for a few days in the desert with some friends. Your uncle Hao is going to take care of you, and don't mess things up."

"Grandpa, I'm hungry," Ren whined.

"Go make yourself a quaesidilla or something," his grandfather snapped, as he loaded things into his man-purse.

"I CAN'T!" Ren screamed. "JUN ATE EVERYTHING!"

"I need the food more than you do, Ren," Jun called from the computer room. "You know I'm training to be a cage fighter."

Ren twitched. "CAGE FIGHTER!?" he screeched as Grandpa Zhen drove away. "Why the heck would you be a cage fighter? You have the worst reflexes of all time!"

"Come over here and try to hit me, Ren." Jun replied smoothly.

"WHAT!?"

"I said, try to hit me."

Scowling, Ren swiped at Jun. She grabbed his hand and shoved it down, then smacked him upside the head.

"OW!" Ren roared. "Freaking idiot!"

At that second, the doorbell rang. Ren hurried to the door and opened it, revealing a shy-looking girl holding trays full of keychains and baubles.

"W-would you like to buy some home-made handicrafts?" she whispered.

"Huh?" Ren said.

"My name's Tamao and I'm trying to raise money for college..."

Ren looked at the strange lanyard-like keychains. He scowled and said, "I made like an infinite of those in scout camp!"

The girl faltered, and then took a picture out of her pocket.

"Would you like to look like this?"

Ren stared at the picture in disbelief. "That's a GIRL."

From inside the house, Jun shouted, "You'll never get into college!"

Tamao sniffled a bit. Without warning, she shoved the trays and picture into Ren's arms and fled.

Shrugging, Ren went back inside the house, to see Jun strapping on some roller blades.

"Hey, Ren. Can you pull me into town?"

Soon after, Ren was on his bike and riding it into town. Attached to the back was a rope, which Jun was clinging onto. She was gliding behind on her rollerblades.

Soon, they entered a building, which looked to be a dojo. The very dojo of Rex-Kwan-Do himself.

**To Be Continued...**

**Next time: **What's going on at Rex-Kwan-Do's dojo? And, what happens when Ren's self-centered uncle Hao comes to stay. To add to the excitement, a new student with major skills is arriving at Ren's school!


End file.
